Coulda been me.....

So, I watched the finale of The Biggest Loser last night. I auditioned for that season last August. I didn't put any real effort into the video or anything, but I did stand in line for about 5 hours one warm Saturday morning. I coulda met all the constestants. I coulda had all the adventures. I coulda learned and trained with Bob and/or Jillian. I coulda won cash. I coulda gotten endorsements. I coulda lost a-lotta weight.

The contestants were on the 'program' for 6 months. I couldn't have been away from my family for that long, and they couldn't have been away from me either, especially with the adoption looming over our heads.

So, getting down to business, how much weight have I lost in the past 6 months, with some of the contestants losing anywhere from 45-200 lbs?

Drum roll.........please.......

0
zilch
zero
nada
nuttin'

How many classes did I take from Pete Thomas to learn how to lose weight?
12
How many cookbooks have I purchased, or perused to find healthy, low cal meals?
many
How often did I go to the gym in 2009 ALONE?
less than 10 times
How happy am I that I haven't lost weight?
NOT!

I kick myself in the rump because I have the tools, but I don't have the motivation. I say this over and over and over and over again.....
So why can't I fix it? Why can't it be fixed?
What is holding me back?
Could it be that I'm afraid of failure? Sure, I've said that before. Could it be that I'm afraid of success? Sure, said that too....Why do I have to be afraid? What am I really scared of?

I had planned to get up early (which I've been doing anyway) and getting on my Wii Fit. But I let the excuse of the dog 'disturbing my family's sleep' hinder me from getting out of bed and onto that little white board. I told myself this morning, that I'll do it after work. Which would be a good time, because I don't have to worry about getting dinner together, it's my night off for that.

So, that takes care of today. What about tomorrow?